Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night

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(732): View more from New Jersey

dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?

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(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained

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(240): View more from Maryland

All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again

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(248): View more from Michigan

I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"

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(716): View more from New York

If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died

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