High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
