I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
