just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
