ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
