Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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