As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
