i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
