i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
