when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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