The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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