At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
