Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
