she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm bleeding and have questions
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
