There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
