Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
foreskin is a definite game changer
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
