So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
