i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
