I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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