and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
