you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
