We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
