Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
