Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you never un-have a 4some
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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