stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
