I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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