lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
