My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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