Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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