If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize