rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize