real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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