we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
