do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
