Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize