We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
