TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
