why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
