I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
