Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
