First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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