Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
