this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
