pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
