We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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