Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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