Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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