He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize