let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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