how hairy? two words: wookie tits
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
