no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
