Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
