all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize