Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
