hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
