Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
