5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
