Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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