I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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