i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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