dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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