I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize