Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
