Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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