She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
