They should really pass out barf bags in church
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
