They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
